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A funny thing happened when I set out on a little self-care getaway recently. I left my laptop at home, committed to being fully present, and reconnected with friends who have known me since high school - the ones who knew me before titles, responsibilities, or adulthood’s endless to-do lists defined me.
Then, I got bronchitis.
Life sometimes just has a way of laughing at our plans, right? But even as my lungs rattled and my voice gave out, I still managed to roam through Sonoma, take in the majesty of Big Sur, and … big bucket list moment … drive a stretch of the Pacific Coast Highway. And most importantly, I laughed. A lot.
I laughed because I was with people who see me fully, in all my unfiltered human messiness—people who remind me of who I am beyond the roles I play in work and life. As I sat in that joy, even through my coughing fits, I was reminded of something we often forget when the world feels especially chaotic: Our people are our lifeline.
The term self-care often comes up in conversations about coping, well-being, and mental health. It’s what many of us tend to want more time for and, sometimes, feel shame for not doing more. But I noticed that we spend so much time optimizing self-care in those conversations like we can hack our way there. We talk about productive morning routines, always-available meditation apps, strict hydration goals, and various types of therapy. All of which might help. But self-care isn’t just about what we do for ourselves. It’s also about who we surround ourselves with and how we contribute to the lives of others.
Marcus Aurelius, the philosopher and accidental self-help guru (and distant relative of an old college roommate whose last name is actually Aurelius), once said: “What we do now echoes in eternity.” And I think about that a lot because, in times like these, when the world feels like it’s spinning a little too fast and everything is too much, our relationships— friendships, families, colleagues, communities—tether us back to what matters. The energy we put into those bonds, into showing up for each other, can carry us through.
There’s also something to be said about shifting our focus from self to service. When we get outside of our heads—when we help, when we reach out, when we show up for someone else—it has a profound effect on our spirits.
Research backs this up. Studies have shown that acts of kindness and community engagement reduce stress, increase happiness, and even improve physical health. Volunteering has been linked to lower blood pressure and increased longevity. And, let’s be honest, giving a shit about other people just makes life feel richer.
But how do we take all the burnout, anxiety, and frustration and turn it into something that matters? Here are some small but meaningful ways to engage in your community, support others, and maybe even find a little light for yourself in the process.
You don’t have to take a trip to Big Sur to feel the impact of deep, meaningful connections. Text that friend you’ve been meaning to check in on. Call your parents or siblings just to say hi. Host a small gathering where people can be themselves without pretenses or performance. Our relationships need care and attention, just like we do.
Not everyone has time to take on a full-blown activist role, but small, intentional actions create real change. Support a local business instead of a big-box store. Speak up when you see someone being treated unfairly. Pay attention to local policies that affect marginalized communities. Donate to a food pantry or mutual aid fund.
Not all volunteering looks the same. If you have an hour, help at a local shelter or soup kitchen. If you’re more introverted, consider tutoring online, writing letters to isolated seniors, or organizing donations for a cause you care about. If you have a skill like graphic design, resumé writing, or marketing, see if a nonprofit could use your expertise.
We all have something to offer. Could you mentor a younger professional in your field or offer guidance to someone navigating a career change? Support a student, an intern, or a small business owner just getting started? A little encouragement and guidance can be life-changing for someone else.
Be generous with your compliments. Leave a note of appreciation for a colleague. Pay for the person’s coffee behind you. Hold space for a friend going through a hard time. Kindness isn’t just about grand gestures; it’s in the small, consistent ways we make the world feel softer for each other.
Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is introduce people. If you know someone looking for a job, connect them with someone hiring. If you know two like-minded individuals who could support each other’s work, make an introduction. Community grows when we actively create connections between people.
Check-in on your elderly neighbors. Help a friend move. Babysit for a single parent who desperately needs a break. Join a community clean-up day. These small acts of showing up remind us that we’re all in this together.
We like to think of self-care as an individual pursuit, something we do in isolation to recharge. But real, soul-saving self-care often looks like community care. It looks like making space for each other. It looks like laughing so hard with old friends that you forget for a moment how exhausted you are. It looks like reminding each other: Hey, I see you. You’re not alone.
And maybe, just maybe, it looks like putting down the to-do list and prioritizing something bigger than yourself.
So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, maybe the thing that will save you isn’t just a quiet moment alone (though, by all means, take that nap!). Maybe it’s leaning into your people. Maybe it’s reaching out, being of service, and remembering that we are all each other’s lifelines, and everything we do will echo far beyond our current moment.
And if you happen to get bronchitis in the middle of your self-care, well, at least make sure you laugh through it.
We’re wrapping up Black History Month, and I thought it made sense to share a reminder that this month is not just a celebration; it’s a call to action. It’s a time to honor the legacy, resilience, and contributions of Black folks who have shaped our world, often against impossible odds. But beyond the well-known stories of leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. and Rosa Parks, there’s an ocean of untold narratives about Black scientists, artists, entrepreneurs, activists, and everyday heroes whose impact has been overlooked.
There’s so much more for the rest of us to learn, like the deep, systemic roots of racial inequality and how they continue to shape modern institutions, the ways Black joy, creativity, and community-building have been forms of resistance, and the stories of Black innovators who changed industries but never got credit. Black History Month isn’t just about looking back; it’s about recognizing how history is still unfolding and how we can play a role in shaping a future where every contribution is acknowledged and valued.
If you want to go beyond the usual history book highlights and dive into the rich, complex, and often overlooked contributions of Black leaders and innovators—both past and present—here are some great places to start:
The Root – Features thought-provoking articles on Black culture, politics, and history.
Black Enterprise – Spotlights Black entrepreneurs, business leaders, and economic empowerment.
NPR’s Code Switch – A podcast and site that dives into race, identity, and the changing face of America.
Blavity – Focuses on Black millennials and their impact in tech, politics, and social change.
TED Talks by Black Thought Leaders – Search for talks by speakers like Kimberlé Crenshaw, Ta-Nehisi Coates, and Ibram X. Kendi.
The Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture – A deep archive of Black history, literature, and art.
The National Museum of African American History & Culture – Features digital exhibits on Black history, from slavery to the Civil Rights Movement and beyond.
The Equal Justice Initiative (EJI) Reports – Focuses on racial justice, including the legacy of racial violence and how it impacts today’s society.
History.com’s Black History Section – Covers both well-known and lesser-known figures in Black history.
The Black Archives – A visually compelling collection of rare Black history photos and stories.
Tracey Halvorsen invited me on her show, Escape Velocity, to talk about all my favorite things: the future of work, the power of personal agency, leadership failures, and why trusting teams is essential for innovation. We also unpack the challenges of toxic workplace norms, the backlash against DEI efforts, and the cultural resistance to change. We covered a lot of territory, but we also talked about joy, so take a listen.
Listen to “Escape Velocity” on Spotify.
Right now feels chaotic, but here’s the truth: you are not powerless. And our survival depends on remembering this and then doing something with it. So I pulled together 10 real, tactical ways to stay solid when everything around you feels like it’s unraveling. No vague platitudes. No “just think positive” BS. Some of these might surprise you. Some might challenge you. But all of them are built for times like these.
I’ve been pretty active over on TikTok. From work topics to coping skills to simple human stories, I’m sharing away. Like this newsletter, it’s a little funny, a lot opinionated, and I hope makes you think just the right amount.
“Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth” — Muhammad Ali
